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Author Topic: Loss of my beloved son.  (Read 9818 times)
jhope
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« on: May 29, 2008, 12:28:54 AM »

I have just found this site. My only son died 9 months ago. I had him for just 24 short years. I miss him every day.
We shared a special bond that only mothers and sons share which I know will never be replaced.
I know that I don't want to live the next 30 or so years without him. Life has lost its sparkle, its shine. Without Tom my life is not a life anymore, it is just an existence.
I don't know or understand how I even got to this 9th month, at times it is just deep despair. Does that ever go? And do I even want it to go? Will that mean that I don't and didn't love Tom enough?
I'm afraid that as time goes on and I'm getting further away from him that I'll forget things about him and I'll lose the essence of him. I pray to God (is there a God?) that I never do.
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ivan
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« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2008, 02:12:02 PM »

Hi

Ms Hope

its Ivan here

first of all i can say that I know exactly what you are going through
I lost my boy 28Nov05 at 20 years
I found life to be worthless for a  long time at at times even now
There are so many reminders to fight on a daily basis that you do not
get away from them.You have in front of you a major fight to be able to cope with it all.
You do not value things as much now-you lose interest and focus on a daily basis your emotions will be ok or just wildly rotten and what ever you do or are never hold back--let all you feel come out-to hell what other people think-I have lost so called friends-they have all dissapeared including family members-they do not want to know.
Religion-many I have spoken to have thrown it out-other have tried to really find strength in it-its personal-
My suffering has lingered on and on because I had his Trial to attend-
the sentence was 2yrs and the driver out after 7 months-
by the way my parents in their80's are still with me.
life is a battle-fight it in any way you can-you will succeed.

The anger-frustation-hurt-and asking the question--WHY? which will never never be answered and do not try and seek anything at the moment just try an control your inner feelings and emotions
i have a dog and that has been a fantastic distraction-others got one after the event and has helped them.
All I will say that nothing goes totally away-you begin to control it better
time-no set time scale-all has to flow-its horrible-but no chioce.
You will forever talk of him-at him-feeel that he is around and be content in that-we talk to him and about him always-so he is still in a way around us-and will alway be.
my email to use if you want
is Ivan77@hotmail.co.uk
mobile 0792 1044 785

one small question can u tell how u found site?
do keep writing as often as you wish and I shall reply-try not to feel
lonely.If I think of more Ilshall send
You can email me if you wish.
ivan
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jhope
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« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2008, 10:25:42 PM »

Thank you Ivan for your kind words.
I have a dog too and she has been a really good companion at my lowest times.
I also have a granddaughter who I take care of 2 days a week so that certainly helps me on those days.
Friends come and go, this is just too big a thing for most people to deal with.

PS
I found this site through the "Ask" search engine, I just put in "loss of a son." And it is nice to know that it is here for when I need to talk.
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DAN
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« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2008, 11:44:08 PM »

my son was killed yesterdy in a farming accident. he was 27 years old and we had just started to have a closer relationship. It seems like I can't really feel involved in this because people say i'm in shock. How long does it take to have life really have a purpose?  Dan
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ivan
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« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2008, 06:11:38 PM »


Hi
No words will ever express what u are going though no matter how nice
people try to be-all I say is because of been there.

You are in a state of shock-in some way it will help you in the immediate future-do not fight-let nature take its course-cry when you want-shout when you want-g our for long walks-it helped me- thre no set time of when you will get better-you will just get better at handling your horrible situation as for me in reality nothing has gone away-I think I handle it better-
you may find that people are around you now and a bit longer-then with me somehow they dissappear-they do not know how to cope with you.

You are hurting like hell-there is no remedy for it-come mon to this site whenever and u will get contact
my mobile is
0792 1044 785
keep writing your felings as u have done and you will get response
remember You Are Not Alone

Ivan
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