Never Away Message Board

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: jemmy42 on March 06, 2012, 12:20:22 AM



Title: Hi new here
Post by: jemmy42 on March 06, 2012, 12:20:22 AM
Hello, don't know if I am doing this properly, but desperate for someone to share with.   I am waiting for a hearing aid as I webt deaf recently and cannot telephone Cruse Bereavement until i can hear.
I lost my precious daughter just under 2 years ago, from cancer.  I had lost another daughter 16 years ago through murder, and a baby son through pneumonia at 3 months old.

My latest loss is different from the others, though equally hard to bear.  With my last loss, I seem to become bitter and feel tremendous guilt because she died at home with her husband by her and I was about 20 minutes from her dying and feel dreadful as I was not there.   Her husband thankfully was with her due to the nurse who was sitting with her warned her husband that my girl was near the end.  We thought she had a couple of weeks before the end, but not so, otherwise I would have been there for her. 
Also, it preys on my mind what my lovely girl went through for six months before she died. The family and me were there every day and most of them were there til night time at her home, and of course her husband was there allthe time.    Her suffering was great and I had nobody to talk to after her death as her brothers bottled their grief and her husband also will not talk much about his feelings.

I have gone through a crop of illnesses since my daughter was initially diagnosed back in 2005,  and since her death my physical and mental health has de