Everyone is different and reacts different in Grief
There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no telling how long it may take.Here you will find information on the experience of bereavement and advice on ways to come to terms with the loss.
Helping yourself through Grief and Bereavement
When you have suffered the loss of a loved one, life may seem meaningless and you may feel hopeless for months or even years. But there are a number of measures you can take to guide yourself through the toughest times.
Threre are no right or wrong reactions to Death.
After the Traumatic experience of a death of a son or daughter, your greif has to take its own gradual course.
Form some could be crying all the time, for others keeping busy.
the change in you, could be from hour to hour and lst days. It is normal.
Do not worry. Some days are Bad others I say Worse.
Over time the emotional swings will lessen, as you learn to adapt to your changed circumstances. At the beginning its nearly impossible to adapt.
The following is a summary of the most common feelings in Grief and Bereavement.
Shock and disbelief - It can take quite some time for news of the death to sink in. You don't want to believe it, who would?
Loss -You have lost so much if not everything - the person, their love, their friendship, opportunities, hopes.and accompanying the loss can be a deep sense of sadness.
Guilt and regret - Maybe you regret having said that hurtful thing or not visiting the previous week as you had promised. You feel bad for feeling angry. Some will feel "survivor guilt" - to be alive when another is dead. If the death was suicide, feelings of regret and guilt will probably be heightened. You might also feel shame or blame yourself.
Injustice-Why did this have to happen to me? It is not fair!
Anger-You might feel angry with the world or with people for: Causing the death, not understanding your feelings, carrying on with life and having fun. You might feel angry with yourself too, for what you did or did not do. But perhaps most difficult of all, you might feel angry with the person gone, or the person who caused the death,
Loneliness - Grieving can be a lonely process. You may feel that no-one can possibly understand what you are going through or that no-one cares, after you have just lost someone who played a big part in your life
Depression- Feeling low is a natural part of the mourning process. For a time you could lose interest in life and feel that there is no point in going on. At worst you might feel total despair.
And finally you might feel as if these reactions will go on forever, which of course they won't,but will be a long time before they lessen.
You might try to avoid such difficult feelings, but for the process of healing to occur, the pain of grief has to be experienced and expressed.
Possible Effects on Your Behaviour after the loss of a Daughter or Son
Grief also affects our behaviour and functioning. You may find it affects you in some or all of the following ways:
Sleep disruption. You may find that you can�t get to sleep, or can�t stay asleep, or that you wake early.
Loss of appetite. You might not feel like eating, or you may feel sick when you do.
Restlessness. You may find it hard to relax and �switch off�. Your mind goes into overdrive trying to make sense of what has happened, especially when you are alone or in bed at night.
Exhaustion .Grief is stressful, and if you are also not sleeping or eating well, you are bound to feel tired and worn down.
Preoccupation. You might be so preoccupied with thoughts of the dead person that you imagine seeing or hearing her/him. (You are not going mad -this is quite common!)
Anxiety and panic. With so many powerful and unfamiliar feelings aroused, you might become anxious - that you�re going crazy (which you�re not) or that something terrible might happen.
Inability to cope. You might find it difficult to cope with ordinary, everyday things like shopping, cooking, or your work.
Loss of interest. Things that were once a source of great pleasure to you now feel. meaningless and tiresome.
Irritability. You might find yourself �snapping� even if you are not the sort of person who normally reacts in this way.
Tearfulness. You might cry a lot; in fact, sometimes it�s all you can do. Crying can bring relief as it is an outlet for the emotions, tension and strain that have built up.
Other physical symptoms. Palpitations, nausea, dizziness, tightness in the throat and digestive problems - all can be experienced during grieving. If you are concerned, consult your GP.
These are all normal and understandable reactions to bereavement and a natural part of the mourning process. Given time, support and understanding they will lessen and eventually may disappear.